Sunday, December 21, 2014

Ebola Don Come


Okay, I am going to rant a while about the Ebola Virus, how it is affecting West Africa in general and Sierra Leone specifically , so grab a cup of coffee and have a seat.

 Disclaimer: All of this is my own opinion and I am not a doctor, virologist, epidemiologist, anthropologist, or that requires more than 4 years of University. I have lived in Sierra Leone and have not left West Africa since mid 2012.  Also my ideas are not original. I am not going to give footnotes but just know that I borrow good sense from other people from time to time. Taking things from one source is plagiarism; taking things from several sources is research.
 
Question: Why is this current outbreak of Ebola so bad?

Answer: Transportation, Behavior, Slow/Bad Response.


Transportation: We have some very bad roads in West Africa, however they are getting better than ever (at least in Sierra Leone). Other Ebola outbreaks in the past have occurred in remote, hard to reach villages where a part of the village died off but the virus could not spread far infected  people couldn't easily travel far. Now you can travel from Guinea, to Port Loko, To Makeni, To Kenema, To Kailahun to Freetown all in less time than it takes to begin to present symptoms of EVD. As a result it is possible for EVD to spread across the map rapidly.

 
Behavior:  Behavior has not changed here, especially among the uneducated or undereducated. I see it every single day. Behaviors like, body contact, walking hand in hand, shaking hands, eating from communal bowls with hands, hugging, kissing, more importantly funeral rites involving ceremonial washing, drinking of said water, home treatment of the ill, hiding of ill family members, mistrust of government and medical workers, are still going on. Until behavioral changes take place, or an effective virus is implemented Ebola will be around.

 
The governments, the international community, NGOs all of us where too slow to respond to this particular outbreak. Even now there is far more that can be done in the region to stop this virus. If we are honest we were all several months to late before anyone took serious steps against EVD. Now there is a mad rush to win a fight against an enemy that cannot be seen (except by some very high tech laboratories). As in some grass roots revolution or guerrilla war, people with no former experience in infectious diseases or any medical experience have joined the fight.  Soldiers, child protection agencies, various non medical charities, traditional chiefs, community leaders, and yes even I have gotten involved in my own way. It is a fight that must be won, but it is an uphill battle.

 
When will Ebola be finished. I am asked this question regularly, as if I know. What I want to say is, EVD will be finished many months after and not before we change dangerous behaviors region wide and especially in Sierra Leone, treated or (God forbid) let nature take its course for all existing cases without allowing for further transmissions/reproduction, and got serious about our response. Instead I just shrug my shoulders and say, only God knows.

Saturday, December 20, 2014

I Will Wait


I have many years of practice waiting on different things. This is a lesson that every child has to learn and we adults keep relearning. Patience is a virtue. So it should get easier right. At this point in time I should be really practiced at waiting. Only I am not. I hate waiting and I have a very low tolerance for inaction. My family has been separated since early May of 2014 and it is not getting any easier as time goes by. I have waited for circumstances that are out of my control, (such as Ebola to change for the better) for months. I still await circumstances that I should have a modicum of control over, to change (red tape), but cant seam to make any measurable progress. It is maddeningly frustrating to be so close to a goal but never able to reach it. Call me Sisyphus.

 

As I wait what do I learn? I suppose I gain patience by waiting but I can't seem to hold on to it for long. I learn determination. I learn focus. I learn stress management. Heartache, frustration, anger, loss of trust in humanity all of these classes I attend regularly. The school of life constantly in session. Cant it take a holiday break? I suppose the most important lesson I learn is to trust in God. I am forgetful and so need to brush up on that class quite regularly. I learn to pray. I learn that life is not about me. I learn that grey hairs are not so bad.

 

I feel like I have passed this waiting class, so can I move onto another class? I lost my syllabus so I guess I will see what lessons are up next. I will wait.

 

I feel the need to end on a positive not, but am not feeling very positive, so I will end with a quote. I wiser fellow than myself once said, "Sometimes you eat the bear, and sometimes, the bear, well he eats you."
M.R.

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Ninja Gingerbread Cookies are AWESOME...

We are still here! Sorry folks.

We do feel that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, though. Yay! We've been closely monitoring this whole Ebola thing and we are seeing major improvement in several affect countries and it looks like Sierra Leone isn't far behind! We are ready to be home and hit the ground running with new tasks, old ones and all the Ropieckis under one fun African roof!

Until then...
What have we been doing? So much! Michael has kind of been a rock star when it comes to locking down The Covering. Employees and kiddos remain Ebola free, healthy and in good spirits. It's ok, you can say it, he's freakin' awesome. He's also had a few side projects that he has been working on helping a few other organizations. Can't go into detail, but he gets more awesome.

He's also been an awesome dad to two little toddlers that we now have guardianship of and have paperwork in order! Awesomeness oozes from this man.

He does all this while maintaining a perfectly straight house, cooking three square meals per day and dabbling in flower arrangements and interior design...A few of these details may be embellished. But since he is the man of my dreams, I can dream big!

As for the stateside Ropieckis...
We've missed home a bit. But we are making significant headway in fundraising. We have been so overwhelmed at the outpouring of love and support. We appreciate so much everyone seeing the importance of what we are doing. It is humbling to say the least. We ask you to please continue with your help in raising awareness and support for our work. We still have a significant deficit in our budget for 2014.

We have also hit the books once again. School is in session full swing for these young ladies. They are not elated, but it has to happen! We have been hiding out at our family's cabin in the woods, which has been awesome! It is quiet and beautiful and quiet...really, it has been such a retreat. Just ignore the banjo music!

I have also been working on some TRS projects here and assisting where needed. Although being here this long wasn't the idea, it has been great for connecting with leadership and learning some ins and outs of an organization we love. And since this paragraph does not contain the theme word of this post...TRS is awesome. AWESOME!

Also, we made some crazy awesome ninja gingerbread cookies. Awesome really isn't a big enough word for them. I mean they are gingerbread cookies, shaped like ninjas. Your mind was just blown. 

So, lessons learned? Stories to tell? America is a little tricky for us to navigate these days. As I type this I look to my right and see the word "complain" strategically placed over my little trashcan icon on my computer...so there. God is working this out. I see it often, sometimes it feels not often enough and I don't quite grasp the reasons, but whatever the case, he's faithful and I am glad I don't have to do this without him. Lamentations (I know, not the most uplifting book to consult on this one) says, "The Lord's loving kindnesses, indeed, never cease. For his compassions never fail." My compassions do fail. ( I have a few friends and family that would attest to that) but he loves me.
Also, ninja gingerbread cookies are AWESOME!

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

I Get It Now.

This post can start with an apology. My friends who have gone down the adoption road, you mother's whose heart was filled with that child, my compatriots in the fight for our children, I didn't understand.

I have stood beside you and said the right things. I have hugged you and considered myself a fellow traveller down this road with you. I have insisted that God has the best timing. I have said I am praying (and I did pray). I have loved you moms. But I didn't get it.

I thought I did. Although I have been through an adoption before, the way was so quick, the workload was heavy and it flew by. Ella was in my arms the week after we knew she was ours. Maggie and Hawa have been loved on and cared for by our little quirky family for 2 years. Our struggles have been so small.

But four months after kissing my precious babies, wiping Hawa's tears and promising momma will be "right back". I'm still not there. My heart aches. I see a picture of their feet and I can't even describe the desire to be tickling them. I think about them like a love sick teenager. I understand that hurt and haunt now. I apologize for not really understanding. Loving those kids far away is the most wonderful hurt imaginable.

I'm sorry my words were inadequate. I'm sorry I didn't pray more. I'm sorry that you were hurting like you were. This is hard stuff.

What words should I have said? "Guys, this sucks." God's hand is all over this, but so is the enemies and our families are his target. Sister in Christ, be strong and fight.

Ephesians 6:12, Ephesians 6:11, Psalm 144:1, 2 Corinthians 10:3-4

We are fighters. We are tired sad fighters some days, but fighters none the less.
I am sorry for not warring with you properly. I will do better from this moment forward. I get it now. These people are under our skins and in our hearts.

We are making progress. I could go into detail but it is Africa and trust me, any progress is progress and it never makes sense. We should have tangible progress in our hands in a week or so, then we will party a little, folks!

In the meantime, Michael has been a rockstar, caring for two toddlers, running to the center almost daily to help with lockdown issues and spending a considerable amount of time with other NGO's and Social Welfare. Go ahead, say it, he's awesome...I done goooood.
Thank you for your prayers and continued support. Thank you for lifting us up and checking in on us. Thank you for joining our war.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Sierra Leone Mission and Ebola Update



 
Dear Friends,

 

Thank you for your continued prayers and support. We have appreciated every phone call, email and message that has been sent our way. This has been a difficult time for our family and it has taken us some time to muddle through our options.

 

We have taken a little time away and used the last week to rejuvenate and spend time as a family praying and talking through what is happening in Sierra Leone now. Thank you for being patient and understanding when we don’t have answers and we have been out of touch. We have certainly needed this time. Over the past few weeks, it has become clear that the Ebola Crisis in Sierra Leone is only worsening and may continue to do so for some time. Travel is slowly shutting down and the case number is increasing. However, we have many friends remaining in country and living with modifications to their normal routines. This is a serious disease, however, panic is not the best solution and life must go on for most people living there.

 

Michael, Hawa and Maggie are still in Freetown and are doing very well. They are careful about traveling now and limit trips outside our home. Increased hand washing and the use of bleach are also a step that Michael is taking with our family there. Our home is also on a bit of a lock down from visitors. We are limiting contact with the public in general as much as possible. At this time, there are 11 confirmed cases of Ebola in Freetown and 757 in Sierra Leone. Michael is being cautious.

 

Michael is working on a possible plan to leave Sierra Leone for another part of West Africa. We do not know what may come of it, but he is seeking options if he sees the need to leave Sierra Leone. He will not leave unless our two daughters are able to go with him. This is not an option for our family. It is not even a consideration. There is paperwork that must be approved and ministries that must sign it, and we are now in a waiting pattern. This is not America, this is a country where things move slowly and that slowness is amplified by the current issues the government is dealing with. We must be patient.

 

At this point, we have decided that I will not be bringing our three American children back to Sierra Leone until we see a turn in the number of cases of Ebola. This is for three reasons. First, we do not want any more of our children than necessary on the ground at this time. Secondly, the cost to travel in and out of Sierra Leone is astronomical because of the crisis. Lastly, it would be much easier and more cost efficient for Michael and 2 children to travel, if the opportunity arises, than for seven of us to attempt evacuation.

 

This does not mean our work in Sierra Leone has come to a standstill. Michael is currently working with The Raining Season (TRS) to secure the orphanage and assist in a lockdown. We are both looking forward to helping TRS with some new programming and projects when we are both on the same soil. We are staying in close contact with the staff of the Southern Baptist Convention of Sierra Leone (SBCSL), helping them prepare for future church planting projects, revivals and partnerships abroad. We call Sierra Leone home. We love our work there and we still have a need for the gifts and talents God has given us. Although things are temporarily seemingly off-schedule, we see that there will be an even greater need for our work when this outbreak is brought under control.

 

What do we need and how should you pray? I am using my time in the States to continue raising support for our living expenses. We still need to raise approximately $62,000 to continue our work over the next year.  The cost of living has increased by 30% over the past 3 weeks and we have had to add extra security measures during this time of unrest. This amount needs to be raised before I can entertain going home. Please pray that people would see the need to come along side our ministry and support our work there. Please pray for the countries of Sierra Leone, Guinea and Liberia. Pray for the individuals who live there. Pray for those people infected and those who are watching over them. Please pray for healing and a total end to this disease. Please pray for safety for my precious family there. Pray that the government will remain stable and that this will remain a time of peace and calm in spite of the confusion. Pray for God’s protection.

 

The unknown at this time is the travel costs for Michael and our two girls currently in Sierra Leone. If he is able to obtain paperwork to leave Sierra Leone, he would then need to purchase tickets that have had an extreme price increase, as well as new lawyer fees and visa costs. We estimate a possible cost of $10,000 to accomplish these tasks. 

 

Thank you again for your love and support during this time. We cannot tell you how much we love and appreciate you all. Please understand we are doing everything we can do to remain safe, make future plans and carry on with life. We were never promised that this would be an easy time when we chose to follow God’s call for our family. We were never promised an easy time. We were promised that he would never leave or forsake us and we know that he has absolute control over all of our situations.

 

Thank you.

 

Sincerely,

Michael and Rachel Ropiecki





This web address will show you a few options on how to give. There is also an option to mark it
for the Ropieckis. This is easy and completely secure.
THE BRIDGE FELLOWSHIP
5066 LEBANON ROAD
LEBANON, TENNESSEE 37087
You can also send a check to the above address and just put “Ropiecki Africa Mission” on the for line.
 
 
 

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Decisions are made


I have wanted to put this off for so long. It is my least favorite part of what we do. My favorite parts: working on putting an internship in place, thinking of ways to improve the school and systems that are in place at TRS, watching my husband work with Pastor Daniel to build a garden and play area for the kids, teaching the kids at TRS, spending time getting to know them and what they love, getting to know community members and their needs and then trying to find a way to help, talking with Sierra Leonean nationals about adoption and what it means. I love so many things about this job God has called me to, but naming our own needs is not one of them.

God has provided and blessed us throughout our time here. We have been blown away! Every month God gives us what we need in love, cards, special notes, financial contributions and little extras that get us through those tough days. It is so amazing to me!

We have made the decision to call Sierra Leone home for a while longer. We feel that there is more work we want to accomplish both with TRS and with other ministries that exist here. (We’ll tell you more about that one later) However, we still have need to go to the US for an extended stay trip to visit churches that partner with us, talk with new churches about partnerships, see our dearly missed friends and family and restock on supplies we can only get there. It has been nearly 2 years! We are a little homesick.  We will then come back home to SL and continue the work we are doing. Both leaving here and having to leave there will be bittersweet.

When we arrive in the US we will be fundraising for another two year stay. However, the need to fundraise is not waiting for our adoptions to be finalized and we find ourselves short to finish out the year. Rent is paid one year in advance here as well as residency visas, vehicle renewal expenses, etc. If you are reading this you may already contribute to the ministry we are doing here and this isn’t a plea for you to give, give, give, but a request that you share with others what you obviously see as important. It is important and it takes a village to do it. We could never do this on our own. We have teams of people helping us, family that supports us so totally. We have prayer teams that drop everything to lift us up, we have smart financial people keep track of things for us, we have friends packing bags with gifts that make us happy, happy, happy. Not to mention, friends and family that come to see us and boost our spirits. There are no words.

We are asking for a little more help though. We have a large sum of money we need to raise and quickly. So we are asking you to do our job a bit and pass on the word for us. If you know someone who may be interested in being a part of what we do or even a group of people that want a connection here in SL. We are so close we just need this extra push.  

In all honesty, we are in a time crunch as well. We are hoping to take care of many of these details by the end of the month. It’s a big task and we are sure God is up to the task.

We appreciate everything we know you all do for us. We are overwhelmed by the love that is poured over our family and we can’t wait to hug necks and see everyone who has been such a support throughout this crazy ride. Thank you for seeing value in what we are doing here.


How to give:


http://thebridgefellowship.net/online-giving 
This web address will show you a few options on how to give. There is also an option to mark it
for the Ropieckis. This is easy and completely secure.
THE BRIDGE FELLOWSHIP
5066 LEBANON ROAD
LEBANON, TENNESSEE 37087
You can also send a check to the above address and just put “Ropiecki Africa Mission” on the for line.





 

Monday, February 10, 2014

Aubrey's Guide to Freetown

Do you like blistering sun, spicy food and Madonna bumper stickers? Then you're going to love Freetown, which has an insane excess of all these things!
Here are some tips on what to do when visiting:


When packing, DO NOT, repeat, DO Not bring water proof bug repellent and safari, nature-y tourist clothing. I'm going to be frank with you, anyone who wears that stuff ends up looking dorky and basically sweating to death. Besides, you really only end up wearing "tourist clothes" when you come to Sierra Leone, then they are put in the closet never to return.


Tip Two: no matter how crappy you think it is, enjoy the plane ride while you have it, because once you step off that plane there will be no air conditioning or new movies.


As for tip three, when in Rome do as the Romans do, or in this case, when in Africa. Don't spend your time here sulking about what you're missing from home, just join the crowd and go with the flow. Try your best to be an optimist!


Tip four: if you happen to break down and go a little crazy, do not panic. Just take a deep breath, splash some water on your face and take a big gulp from your canteen. Look at the big picture, you're getting to do something few people get to experience! In the words of my BFF, Bob Marley, "Don't worry about a 'ting..."


There's a whole lot of cool things to do while here, and as long as you follow my four step plan, there's a good chance you'll get to experience them. But if you really want my advice, get an advice giver who isn't thirteen!

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Fowl Business


I will begin with a disclaimer and apology today. To those of you who have listened to my endless chatter and talk of dreams of chicken ownership, you were great friends. After reading this blog you will be hitting the great unfriend button of life because after countless hours of waxing poetic about the joy of chicken ownership, I have realized my folly.
It seems romantic and glamorous on film. Zha Zha made it look whimsical and fun. I even have a visual of Miley Cyrus on a tire swing, young and carefree (pre-turk of course) feeding chicks and bringing joy to the hearts and lives of pre-teen girls everywhere by producing eggs for consumption. I imagined myself flinging grain and baring my soul to the beasts as they gently click and coo around me, obviously understanding the turmoil of a young mother and the hardships I face. But what Ms. Gabor and poor little misguided Miley omit in the fanciful forays in fowl life is the poop.
We all do it. If you want to be a living organism you must commit 20 seconds to 45 minutes to the task daily. Some animals stop in the woods, some read a book others answer questions like where are the sneakers I wore last Thursday and how do they make margarin. (Cause mom is clearly a captive audience at that point) I understand the need, but a nice quiet throne room with candles and matches should be the goal not my front porch, back porch, and once in my shoe which was under my kitchen table. These birds are the greatest escape artists ever. I’m pretty sure they are plotting with graphs and charts as I am writing this. We wire and re-wire and nail and staple but the little slop-suckers keep escaping! How? After escaping they must immediately evacuate their bowels…everywhere! Why? I’m losing my mind! Even the 15 month old screams no and chases them now. It is a great exercise plan (running while bent over flailing your arms, it’s like planking…only better and with yelling). It is chicken pandamoneum here. And what do we have to show for it? 2 eggs every other day. Wah wah wah…
So, to all my friends out there who heard my cries for chicken and prayed with me to have the joy of my heart…I’m sorry. And to those friends who are drinking the cool-aid and seeing chicken ownership as an investment in your future happiness, don’t believe the hype. Just like Zha Zha and Miley, it can go very bad.

Playing catch up


First, I am so sorry that there has been such a gap in posts. We have had crazy internet and power issues and we have finally worked out a few kinks. I have been trying to write during the silent times anyway so I can update folks, so if you are interested in what we’ve been doing…

 

November 2013

We haven’t been doing very much…Just moving!! We finally have a home that has a private compound and room for everyone. We are so excited and so blessed that the Sisco family allowed us the opportunity to take over their lease. It is amazing.

We have loved everyone home we have stayed in. The small 3 rooms of the village were a little tough and going outside to use the potty was not on my top 10 favorite things I have done, but each place has stretched us and been a place where everlasting relationships have been made. The thing is, we had no idea how much alone time we did not have! We have lived in compounds with constant traffic and daily random visits and we have loved it, but our house is quiet now. No one is sitting on my front porch and I just sent my kids outside and I don’t know what they are doing! I got up this morning and walked through my house in my pajamas to sit on my couch. I am a new woman.

We are getting settled in and my girls are loving the fact that they don’t all have to share a dwelling. Five kids in one room was a bit much…a bit. Everyone has decorated appropriately and they love home. It feels like home.

Thanksgiving was a quiet affair with just us guys and that was ok. We ate turkey and all the good stuff that goes with it and talked to our families and relaxed. This year’s turkey was baked in an oven and not in a coal pot and the feast was topped off with an apple pie. See how typically boring we are. Weeeeee!!!

We are finding our groove at TRS and learning the ropes. We are so excited about the work ahead. Everyone is good. NOTHING is going on.

 

Friday, January 31, 2014

It was my buttocks...


In full disclosure, this is a story that is not flattering or pointed in my favor at all. Yet, I feel that it is a tale (tail) that should be told…at least before my husband tells it.

I have had the unfortunate problem of breaking into hives on occasion. When I was young we didn’t always know the cause but in later years we realized that it often occurred when I had an infection that wasn’t treated completely. Most of the symptoms would be gone but then a few days later I would wake to hives. They are not fun, in case, you were thinking they were. The hives stick around until the infection is treated. Not really a big deal just very annoying. I had a little bout of stomach issues last week and so took the appropriate meds and felt like I was on the mend. Then I woke to the hives and took stock and remembered I’ve had some sinus issues that I have been ignoring and I probably had a little sinus infection. No big deal. But the hives…

Michael loaded me in the car and off to the doctor we went. We have a good doctor here who has been wonderful. He has truly saved our kid’s lives and has kept us healthy. He was also a Tennessean for many years…so we are connected. Totally. 

We get to the office, I put my name in. My husband spends the next 15 minutes haggling for what price we are going to pay on our bill. Yes, he bargained my doctor bill. I realized then, it was not going to be the best visit. After three hours of waiting I go to see the nurses. After a lengthy explanation on the past two weeks and a good showing of the hives that covered most of my body, I see the nurse write down diarrhea and fever on my chart. These are two symptoms that I really hadn’t put much emphasis on because they really weren’t relevant to our current situation, but ok.

After another 30 minute wait a technichain comes out putting on her gloves and tells me to come for my malaria test. I am pretty confused at this point because…well, I have no malaria symptoms. But she says the doctor refuses to see me without. Now, maybe it was the waiting, or maybe me skipping lunch, I have a hunch it revolved mostly around the incesently itchy marks and that little heat problem we have over here. But I went crazy white lady. I refused the test I marched out and told my husband he better choose the right team, here. He followed me out and said those words I most hate to hear, “Now, Rachel…”AHHHHH! I then fish in his pocket pull out the key and promptly lock myself in the car and tell him to get our fee back. This was not one of my better moments as a wife, a missionary, an adult. But it’s were I was and unfortunately, it was not one of my worst moments of this day.

My long suffering husband goes back into the office, gets his hard haggled money back and joins me in the vehicle. I was a bit embarrassed at this point and say, “I’m sorry, they were just listening to the doctor weren’t they.” He smiles and says, “No, he’s been out to lunch for the last couple of hours.” So maybe my fit wasn’t justified, but come on!

I know what my doc in the states would prescribe so we head down to our pharmacy and I write a list of all we will need. Sure enough I could get everything I needed and our pharmacist is one of the nicest guys on the planet. We head home with the meds that will cure all that ails me and a smile on this nutty woman’s face.

We walk in the door and I ask Michael if he would mind giving me the injection that will jump start the end to these hives. We have both had  to learn a few things since coming here about medicine, and injections is one of those things, so I knew he could do it. But…a strange thing happened when I asked Mike about the shot. He got this crazy smile on his face and a gleam of anticipation that I haven’t seen…well we’ve been married a long time. Then it occurs to me what a royal pain in the butt I have been all day and I understand something, first my husband is really looking forward to stabbing me with a needle and second, he is my only option. Oh no. We go into the kitchen and I prepare the syringe and I keep hearing him tell the girls how he is going to stand back and shoot the thing just like a dart then he can do a quick spin kick to push in the depressor. I’m not a fan of shots, especially not the one that may be administerd in a questionable fashion, plus, have you spent time with my husband? Do you trust him with a needle and your behind?

I make my way to the bedroom and lie across our bed, my safe place, my refuge, but now it is just an ugly place of torture. Sweat is litteraly running down my back and I may have swallowed my tongue. My husband walks in the room and I bare the royal behind so the mark can be made. He makes contact with the spot about to take the hit and I turn to look at his face and he is smiling!! Like Jack Nicholson in that movie with the kid. You know, “red rum red rum.” And then an even stranger thing happens I roll over and grab his hand and start screaming. I am literally fighting my husband. What is happening?? I keep saying, no this is a bad idea. Stop! He continues to laugh and I continue to insist we stop the madness. Then he pulls the ultimate below the belt (no pun intended). He turns and yells, “Hey kids, come hold mom’s arms so I can give mom a shot.” What? The man has called in the calvary! Of course Anna is the first to enter the room with a smile that looks vaguely like the one her father is wearing. This is getting very real very fast. The rest of the crew follows. A decision has to be made at this point. I will have to take all of my children to the doctor again sometime in the future and I will probably find myself in a similar situation to the one I am in now. When this happens, what do I want their response to be? I turn around like a good girl at this point. Of course, not without a quick, “You better not be smiling, Ropiecki.” I turn my head to the side and look at my children lined up in a row at the foot of my bed seeing this all unfold.

My husband proceeds to inject me with what feels like hot boiling lava all while surpressing a giggle and my kids all laugh and point and say, “I see mom’s butt.” I revised my parenting plan this morning. I then doped myself properly and slept for the next two hours both because I was very itchy and because I couldn’t face the shame…

Lessons learned, um, no. Butt hurts, um, yes. But I do think I made my husband’s day.