I Will Wait

I have many years of practice waiting on different things. This is a lesson that every child has to learn and we adults keep relearning. Patience is a virtue. So it should get easier right. At this point in time I should be really practiced at waiting. Only I am not. I hate waiting and I have a very low tolerance for inaction. My family has been separated since early May of 2014 and it is not getting any easier as time goes by. I have waited for circumstances that are out of my control, (such as Ebola to change for the better) for months. I still await circumstances that I should have a modicum of control over, to change (red tape), but cant seam to make any measurable progress. It is maddeningly frustrating to be so close to a goal but never able to reach it. Call me Sisyphus.

 

As I wait what do I learn? I suppose I gain patience by waiting but I can't seem to hold on to it for long. I learn determination. I learn focus. I learn stress management. Heartache, frustration, anger, loss of trust in humanity all of these classes I attend regularly. The school of life constantly in session. Cant it take a holiday break? I suppose the most important lesson I learn is to trust in God. I am forgetful and so need to brush up on that class quite regularly. I learn to pray. I learn that life is not about me. I learn that grey hairs are not so bad.

 

I feel like I have passed this waiting class, so can I move onto another class? I lost my syllabus so I guess I will see what lessons are up next. I will wait.

 

I feel the need to end on a positive not, but am not feeling very positive, so I will end with a quote. I wiser fellow than myself once said, "Sometimes you eat the bear, and sometimes, the bear, well he eats you."

M.R.