Things I've learned in Africa

Tonight as I was sitting on my back stoop washing a tub of shoes, I realized there are so many things that I have learned here that were never even on my radar before. That crap about everything I needed to know I learned in (fill in the blank), not true and has not applied to my life.

So without further intro, except this, I give you the things I have learned!!

1.       I have learned to use a washboard. Not heehaw with spoons style but with my feet in a river bent at the waste scrubbing my dirty drawers. This is a life skill I never thought would come in handy, but my whites have never been brighter and no stains!

2.       Talking loudly and making large hand gestures does not convey your point when the person you are speaking to does not speak your tongue. This is a common misconception in the US where I have spent many a conversation with a non English speaking friend talking v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y and loudly over and over while flailing my arms about like a crazy person just trying to say I like your outfit. Then, I am confused as to why I am not understood. Now, I am the one being yelled at over and over and watching these crazy people try to tell me things in Mende. Turns out I understand them no better whatever their volume may be or the gesture.

3.       My kids are awesome. Not funny, but they really are!

4.       I don’t need a hair dryer. I am 9 months clean and it is refreshing! Ok, I miss it sometimes but I have survived!

5.       Not everything tastes like chicken. Somethings have a taste all their own…..but that is another blog!

6.       Snakes are more afraid of you than you are of them. Lies, lies, lies. I have disputed this for years. They are evil, um, remember a little guy named SATAN? They are looking to eat me.

7.       How to cook with charcoal. I can literally cook anything on my coal pot now. Just try me. Take that Martha Stewart!

8.       I love high fructose corn syrup. Go ahead. All those health conscience friends that I have,  judge me. I hate my body, I will die, so unhealthy, blah, blah blah. It tastes real good, real good.

9.       Flip flops can double as dressy foot wear. I love a good pair of high heels. It’s a fact. But flip flops are my footwear of choice here and I can rock them in shorts or a dress like it’s nobody’s business.

10.   I don’t visit enough with my neighbors. I knew my neighbors but we only saw each other for 3 minutes total each week. Otherwise, we all went to our separate corners and tried to stay out of each other’s way. Here, we are constantly greeted by our neighbors just because they love us. Now, this has a down side, but only because I am a crazy closed off American.

11.   I don’t know how to wring things out. This is something I thought I mastered when I was like 10. Turns out I am a total idiot. Every time I try to wring out anything here it ends in someone grabbing from my hands, saying don’t you know how to wring, then doing it themselves. I have quit and just hand it over automatically.

12.   A country road is not a country road is not a country road. I have ridden on more southeastern country roads in my lifetime than I can even count. They were nothing. These dirt roads have been around since the Pharoah had a little kingdom. It’s insane.

13.   A large tub is a very useful household tool. I have 4 but I wouldn’t object if I had 2 more. They are awesome. What do I use it for, you ask. Good question! Well…..dishwashing, laundry, shoe washing tub, bean soaking, baby bath, water fetching, storage for fruits and veggies, upside down-chopping surface, rain collector, drum, the list goes on and on.

14.   The name Muhamed is not just a Muslim name. Do you know how many Muhameds there are within a 2 mile radius of my house? Crazy big number. But a number of them claim to be Christian. Confused?

15.   Africa is not dry. The humidity is like 900%. If it is possible to have more than 100%. Even in the dry season, it is so humid!

16.   There are 1001 medical uses for brake oil. Can’t begin to tell you how many times people have encouraged me or others to rub brake oil on it. While I can’t confirm that this is the miracle drug that some people believe it to be, I myself have adopted a similar attitude toward apple vinegar cider. It is good stuff! Drink it, rub it on something, spray it in the air from your mouth like a fountain, it will probably cure some ailment you have.

17.   Every piece of trash has a repurpose. I have never considered myself a wasteful person. Then I moved here. Everything I throw away is taken from my trash bin and repurposed. I had a broken water pitcher I tossed, it was taken and reused today. Old coke cans were melted down for cooking pots, all plastic has an ultimate purpose, and no clothing item is beyond repair.

18.   Women’s underwear, it’s not just for the ladies.

19.   A hair saloon is not a place to go for a hairdo and a bar brawl with ruffians and hooligans, it’s just a misspelled salon. This was heartbreaking to the children and I.

20.   God will not give us more than we can handle…..this is a bold face lie. I call bull crap! I can’t even put a number to the days that have ended with me in the fetal position saying I can’t do this!! He has put me where it is way not something I can do or handle. Can’t even find a biblical bases for that nasty rumor that we can handle it. I do see that if I can’t he will and he gets the glory. So I am happy to step aside when the frogs out number the humans in our compound making us relive the Egyptian plagues or when it hasn’t rained in, oh, 6 months and let him do his thing, cause I can’t handle it!

 

This isn’t even the tip of the iceberg! I have learned so many lessons and life skills while here. It really is awesome. There are still things to learn though, I’ll keep you posted!

There's a snake in my boot! (or kitchen)

Interesting night here. Michael took one of our girls out to the bathroom last night around 8:30. That’s not that interesting, but remember the toilet is outside.  It’s not long until I hear, go inside, and my husband shouting our guards names. (one of whom was not on duty and lives a mile away, not sure what that was about) Anyway, I get all kiddies safely indoors and go out to see Mike with a cutlass and a crazed look in his eye. There is a cobra in my kitchen! Ugh. Snakes bring out the neighborhood in a big way here in Bauya so everyone came to investigate. Ironically, the guard Michael called for is terrified of snakes and kept a safe distance from the kitchen saying just let me get someone.

So, Michael puts on rain boots, another man, T-boy, shows up in flip flops and refuses boots. Then in walks our neighbor Pa Cowen. He is so tough. He’s the African John Wayne if you ask me. Awesome. He is armed with an old cutlass and nothing else. He moves everyone out of the way and stomps into the kitchen. The man is 5 feet tall on a good day, he is at least 65 and he weighs in at a whopping 95 pounds, and like me, 0% body fat. (Ok, I just snorted laughing at that) He goes in guns a blazing and begins to throw pots and pans, cooking oil cans and vegetables out the door looking everywhere for the snake that could kill us all. No fear!! During this all the other men are looking around warily with flashlights wondering if the snake is coming to sneak up on them since it is clearly terrified of Pa Cowen. And for comic relief, I send Anita, a friend, up behind Mike to pinch his leg and watched him jump a mile! (good times)

After 15 minutes of looking and many theories we all decided Michael was crazy or this snake has some serious spidey skills, because he is not in my kitchen. Of course, I still made Michael stand guard for me when I needed to shower and he had to escort every woman in the house for their nighttime potty break.  Because, hey, he’s got the boots!

Turns out white people can’t kill snakes. There are a series of phrases that are spoken to us here in SL that make us cringe.  One, because we grew up in such a pc culture that mention of differences in races is way taboo in our minds and two, because there is no arguing with it. What can you say? “Mommy Rachel, you can’t understand. It is our culture.” Well, I understand perfectly, thank you very much. But because I may or may not understand doesn’t mean what you are doing is right! Also, anything starting in “We the black people…” This is going to end in “you the whites….” and a slew of generalizations. Very frustrating! I have no cred with that.

Evangelism has been on my mind lately. I’m not good at it. No, that’s not fair. I don’t do it would be more accurate. I am lazy. I am afraid I won’t be liked or use excuses like “that isn’t my spiritual gift,” etc. I’m so full of crap!! If we build an orphanage but don’t let these kids know about Jesus, how have we really helped? If we spend all of our time working to teach people here basic sanitation or provide a hospital to prolong their life but they don’t hear the word of God, what was the point? No matter where I live I have one “mission from God” and that is to show people who he is, actions, deeds, words. If you don’t get this, you don’t know Jesus! Sorry to be frank, but somebody has to tell you!

The thought of going to another country to evangelize seems so much easier than in the states. I know. I thought this way. But I don’t run into crazy jihadists who want to talk theology and debate daily like I envisioned. Instead, I run into apathetic people who believe they are “saved” thanks to where they go to church and saying they have faith. Hmmm, sounds a bit familiar. I have also had the opportunity to spend time with Americans who believe in doing good but don’t do it for the sake of Christ. Hey, I appreciate philanthropic work. It does good. But without Jesus, it loses its purpose. These people have shared their stories and they usually involve people in the states claiming to love Jesus but behaving like the world. And now they want nothing to do with him. Or they really love Jesus, but they don’t feel their role is to tell people about Christ. A preacher will come along and handle that. Gandhi once said about Christianity, “I like their Jesus, but I don’t care for their Christians.” (hope I didn’t butcher that quote) Who would?

Bringing it back around, promise. I came here feeling like I wanted to do good and that was enough. I am learning that we the whites are missing the mark greatly. (we the whites refer to Americans, not trying to be exclusive, see my pc is showing!) I can’t argue with cultural lifestyles that are thousands of years old, I can’t change everyone’s mind set, but I better be doing my dang best to show them Jesus and how he rolls.

I have to be accountable in the end for what I did with my time here and I may find myself in line with someone I should have told about Jesus. Break: yes, living your witness is a way to show your faith and an obvious. But it is way too often used as a crutch to not tell people. Face it; you want everyone to like you just like I do. (hehe) And what is crazy, I spent a few hours with a girl Sunday and made myself share my faith. I had to say in my head, ok here we go. She had no great conversion (she was American by the way) she may not even have been listening. But she called me this weekJ And I left her and 1, thanked Jesus and fell in love all over again. And 2, felt a burden for the lost that I have been missing. Are you missing it? I can’t save anyone; I can just let people know where to find it.

If you aren’t actively trying to bring people into relationship with Jesus in the US, don’t plan a mission trip where you know you will tell people. If you are “called” to live where you are then you are “called” to tell people about Jesus where you are. Location isn’t going to change that.  1 Peter 2:9  “But you are God’s chosen and special people. You are a group of royal priests and a holy nation. God has brought you out of darkness into his marvelous light. Now you must tell all the wonderful things he has done.”  Tell me my job is not to tell people about Jesus. Think you can’t argue with it’s our culture, try it’s what Jesus said!

So, we are still on snake watch or we are having therapy for Mike, not sure which. And we are trying our hand at evangelism. Because no matter our time spent here, we want to walk away knowing we will be joined by an adopted family one day.

It is hot!

Whew! It’s been nuts over the past few months! I’m exhausted just trying to collect my thoughts about the events.

Bauya is good and hot. I have refrained from any complaints on heat, dry, wet or sweat, because I moved to Africa. What did I expect? But March in SL has made a bit of a whiner of me! I am hot, it is dry, and my shirt and pants are soaked constantly because of sweat! There it’s out there. West Africa is hot. You are welcome for the education on the climate 8 degrees above the equator. Now you know!

The Ropiecki’s are well, in spite of the heat. Mike is seeing more and more progress at the site. It is so exciting to see all those blocks lined up waiting to become a house for kids. I know without a doubt God has amazing big things planned through this. I think in the next few generations we will see huge changes in this country thanks to the love and care that will be given to a group of orphans and the surrounding community through this little plot of land in the middle of nowhere. I love waiting for the exciting unknown almost as much as I like knowing everything!

I got a visit from my father! I have missed my family desperately, so seeing his face lifted my spirits and was just good old fashioned fun! His sweet fiancé was brave enough to trek across the big blue ocean and join the adventure. I was a bit worried. One, I didn’t know if the heat would be too much. Two, it can be a bit chaotic and crazy here and lastly, it is a far cry from how I lived in the states. But I haven’t seen him have more fun or be so at ease in such a long time. We had an incredible visit. He held village children’s hands, experienced the market, carried a few bricks, tickled his grandchildren, and even endured a two mile hike to Mowotto, the birthplace of his two newest grandkids. I was so happy to share my life here with them. I’m good now; I can go a bit longer!

 

Our house is a hotbed of action from dawn until dusk. People are in and out all day long with different things. Maybe they need help, maybe they need to talk about a problem or maybe they just want to greet me. I never know who will be outside my gate! One of the people who come to our compound often to work is a man named Joe. We love Uncle Joe. He is a funny man who loves practical jokes and playing with my kids. He is an incredibly talented carpenter who has built several wonderful and functional pieces of furniture for Casa de la Ropiecki. (When you have three rooms every piece of furniture becomes prime storage space and precious) Joe fought in the war as a civilian that assisted villages in escaping before the incoming rebels would take over an area. He is tough as nails but stops to play with Ella and Hawa every day and sends them around with frogs to spring on unsuspecting parents or guards. He is awesome!

Joe is a Muslim man that we have been praying for, for some time. We have desperately wanted him to start a walk with Christ, but sometimes that can be a bit tricky here. However, we have seen several Christian men pour time and love into his life and have slowly watched his curiosity grow. All of the time spent with Joe has paid off and came to a head when my dad came.  All it took was his go getting attitude and the next thing I know I am translating what a walk with Christ looks like to Joe and hearing him say, “I believe you when you say Jesus is the way to God.” It was incredible!! So, it is with great joy I make the announcement of a new brother and an awesome addition to a big family.

We are here to build an orphanage, an orphanage that is currently seeing children become part of their forever families. We are watching them light up, grow and change as they are joined to a family that loves them unconditionally and sees them as their children no matter their DNA. The parents are so happy because they now have the children that their hearts have been seeking and the children glow because they realize they are loved and not going through life on their own. God held them for this family.

I have 1 adopted daughter and 2 that I want desperately to make my legally adopted children. I have 5 children total and I struggle to remember which are biological and which are adopted. I often tell children who ask why some of my children are black and some are white that sometimes God puts babies in our bellies and sometimes he plants them in our hearts. It is true. None of our children have been planned by us, but God knew our holes and filled them with our hearts desire regardless if we were aware of them or not. What I have seen is my heart filled with more love, patience and contentment and my children become their radiant self that God created them to be. I believe completely that adoption is God’s heart. Just as Joe is now my brother in Christ thanks to adoption, I also know that I have brothers and sisters all over the world loving the same daddy I do. It breaks my heart to think of the adoring way I look at my girls and know that God is looking down on me with the same glimmer and love in his eyes. I am Jesus’s sister and adored the same. He can’t remember who his birth son is and who he has adopted! I am loved.

I am exhausted most days and can’t imagine adding more children to our gaggle at this point but I can see people everywhere I look who need their forever father whether they realize it or not. He is working with all his might to get papers in hand and bring them home to watch them grow and become a member of our kooky crazy family! I understand his want and urgency (maybe just a glimpse). My only hope is to be broken to bring them to him.

So, adoption is God’s heartbeat. It is what he loves. I mean that in both a spiritual way and a literal way. Crack your Bible and give James a scan if you think I’m crazy. If you don’t feel the need to run out and adopt a child, find an organization that will allow you to support the orphan (TRS is a good starting place) Find a couple that need to raise funds to bring home their precious ones. Do something!! It isn’t a calling for the select few, it is a command from God! (please read James so you don’t think I’m crazy)

On a different note, we finally have our Just Dance working. I AM SO HAPPY! I love dancing! It has been so fun. Some of our African friends have joined us in a few night time dance parties. Pretty much the most I have laughed in…..ever. Everyone gives it their best and it is great to see them start to learn the steps but in the meantime, it is hilarious. We had a girl tell us that she really wished she could dance like us because white people have all the best dance moves……..really?