Things I've learned in Africa

Tonight as I was sitting on my back stoop washing a tub of shoes, I realized there are so many things that I have learned here that were never even on my radar before. That crap about everything I needed to know I learned in (fill in the blank), not true and has not applied to my life.

So without further intro, except this, I give you the things I have learned!!

1.       I have learned to use a washboard. Not heehaw with spoons style but with my feet in a river bent at the waste scrubbing my dirty drawers. This is a life skill I never thought would come in handy, but my whites have never been brighter and no stains!

2.       Talking loudly and making large hand gestures does not convey your point when the person you are speaking to does not speak your tongue. This is a common misconception in the US where I have spent many a conversation with a non English speaking friend talking v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y and loudly over and over while flailing my arms about like a crazy person just trying to say I like your outfit. Then, I am confused as to why I am not understood. Now, I am the one being yelled at over and over and watching these crazy people try to tell me things in Mende. Turns out I understand them no better whatever their volume may be or the gesture.

3.       My kids are awesome. Not funny, but they really are!

4.       I don’t need a hair dryer. I am 9 months clean and it is refreshing! Ok, I miss it sometimes but I have survived!

5.       Not everything tastes like chicken. Somethings have a taste all their own…..but that is another blog!

6.       Snakes are more afraid of you than you are of them. Lies, lies, lies. I have disputed this for years. They are evil, um, remember a little guy named SATAN? They are looking to eat me.

7.       How to cook with charcoal. I can literally cook anything on my coal pot now. Just try me. Take that Martha Stewart!

8.       I love high fructose corn syrup. Go ahead. All those health conscience friends that I have,  judge me. I hate my body, I will die, so unhealthy, blah, blah blah. It tastes real good, real good.

9.       Flip flops can double as dressy foot wear. I love a good pair of high heels. It’s a fact. But flip flops are my footwear of choice here and I can rock them in shorts or a dress like it’s nobody’s business.

10.   I don’t visit enough with my neighbors. I knew my neighbors but we only saw each other for 3 minutes total each week. Otherwise, we all went to our separate corners and tried to stay out of each other’s way. Here, we are constantly greeted by our neighbors just because they love us. Now, this has a down side, but only because I am a crazy closed off American.

11.   I don’t know how to wring things out. This is something I thought I mastered when I was like 10. Turns out I am a total idiot. Every time I try to wring out anything here it ends in someone grabbing from my hands, saying don’t you know how to wring, then doing it themselves. I have quit and just hand it over automatically.

12.   A country road is not a country road is not a country road. I have ridden on more southeastern country roads in my lifetime than I can even count. They were nothing. These dirt roads have been around since the Pharoah had a little kingdom. It’s insane.

13.   A large tub is a very useful household tool. I have 4 but I wouldn’t object if I had 2 more. They are awesome. What do I use it for, you ask. Good question! Well…..dishwashing, laundry, shoe washing tub, bean soaking, baby bath, water fetching, storage for fruits and veggies, upside down-chopping surface, rain collector, drum, the list goes on and on.

14.   The name Muhamed is not just a Muslim name. Do you know how many Muhameds there are within a 2 mile radius of my house? Crazy big number. But a number of them claim to be Christian. Confused?

15.   Africa is not dry. The humidity is like 900%. If it is possible to have more than 100%. Even in the dry season, it is so humid!

16.   There are 1001 medical uses for brake oil. Can’t begin to tell you how many times people have encouraged me or others to rub brake oil on it. While I can’t confirm that this is the miracle drug that some people believe it to be, I myself have adopted a similar attitude toward apple vinegar cider. It is good stuff! Drink it, rub it on something, spray it in the air from your mouth like a fountain, it will probably cure some ailment you have.

17.   Every piece of trash has a repurpose. I have never considered myself a wasteful person. Then I moved here. Everything I throw away is taken from my trash bin and repurposed. I had a broken water pitcher I tossed, it was taken and reused today. Old coke cans were melted down for cooking pots, all plastic has an ultimate purpose, and no clothing item is beyond repair.

18.   Women’s underwear, it’s not just for the ladies.

19.   A hair saloon is not a place to go for a hairdo and a bar brawl with ruffians and hooligans, it’s just a misspelled salon. This was heartbreaking to the children and I.

20.   God will not give us more than we can handle…..this is a bold face lie. I call bull crap! I can’t even put a number to the days that have ended with me in the fetal position saying I can’t do this!! He has put me where it is way not something I can do or handle. Can’t even find a biblical bases for that nasty rumor that we can handle it. I do see that if I can’t he will and he gets the glory. So I am happy to step aside when the frogs out number the humans in our compound making us relive the Egyptian plagues or when it hasn’t rained in, oh, 6 months and let him do his thing, cause I can’t handle it!

 

This isn’t even the tip of the iceberg! I have learned so many lessons and life skills while here. It really is awesome. There are still things to learn though, I’ll keep you posted!