I just keep waiting……..I’ve been looking for some great
revelation, some magical God breathed words of wisdom. I’m waiting and waiting.
Today as I was riding, in a cramped taxi with my kids and husband to do
something totally ordinary like go to the market and pharmacy, I realized I was
waiting. I’ve been waiting for my life here to start. We are a little on hold
since our house isn’t complete and the container with our stuff isn’t available
to us. So, I’ve been waiting. Then I took a good look around. The sights,
sounds and smells around as I rode with the windows down in the rain, were
ordinary to me. I was looking at kids playing on the streets. I didn’t notice
the trash. I was watching an older man tease his grandchild; I didn’t pay
attention to her clothes with the holes in them, just laughed at his joke. I simply shook my head in a way that told the
woman with packages of tang that I wasn’t interested and she walked off,
instead of apologizing and wondering if she needs me to buy that. With
confidence, I found the store I was wanting to go to and even took the lead
when Michael had no idea where to go. I told my children to “come” when we got
out of the taxi. I didn’t freak when they went an isle over or stopped to look
at something. I walked into the store and told everyone exactly what I needed
and they totally brought it. I even know the guy to look for when we decided to
buy bread on the street. These things that are now very ordinary to me were
something that I couldn’t have imagined only 2 weeks ago. I noticed the trash,
I smelled the fires and rot of sewage, I was completely freaked out by the
honking of the cars and apologized profusely when approached by a vendor, but
now it’s life. While waiting for God to
give me the go ahead to live life here, I started. Granted, that will change as
soon as we are in Bauya, but for now, we live here. I LIVE here. This is home. It frustrates me that I so easily look to him
and say, “ok now do your work.” And he’s already done it. He’s created me for
such a time as this. He has to shake his head and refer to me as his dumb child
so often. I’m so slow sometimes.
Ella has also caught on to living life. One day last week we
were riding down the road. She was “middle shotgun” her favorite place to ride,
right between her daddy and Uncle Sainy. While sitting in traffic on the way
back from Bauya, Ella announced to us she was hungry. (If you have spent any
time with my daughter you understand this happens every 10 minutes or so) She
then saw a man on the side of the road selling popcorn. Uncle Sainy spoke up
and told the man to come. He of course came to the window and we bought some
popcorn. I watched Ella as this transaction took place. It was like a very
bright light bulb went off in the child’s head. She turns around and yells “momma,
I can get food in the car anytime I want. I just hold out my hand like this and
say come!” OH NO! Today, as I apologized the third time to a vendor for coming
to our car because the 5 year old yelled come, I realized a monster may have
been created. She has found a way to get around waiting.
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